Why Do I Check My Partner's Email?

Rebuilding trust in a relationship

Question: Why do I have a compulsion to check my partner's email and voicemail?

This is about trust. Stop for a moment and think about how much you trust your partner. Can you honestly say that they wouldn't hurt or deceive you? Do you know in your heart of hearts that your partner is honest and sincere in what they say to you? You might not even realize it, but trust is an important and necessary aspect of any relationship. In order for your relationship to move forward, you need to develop and nurture a level of trust between the two of you. If you trust your partner, your inhibitions and worries will subside and you won't feel the need to check their email, mail or phone messages!

But what if you don't trust your partner? What if you feel the need to check your partner's email, mail and phone messages because you are worried about what they might be doing behind your back? At the beginning of a relationship, trust takes time to develop. Wait and see whether trust grows and expands over time. Plus, trust follows a clear pattern in most relationships: the more you trust your partner, the more your partner is likely to trust you.

Listen carefully

If you are not in the early stages of your relationship, then listen carefully. Whether you trust your partner depends on you. Do you have the ability and desire to trust other people? You may be unable to trust other people, including your partner, because you are still hurting from a previous experience or relationship.
Did you experience abuse in your childhood? Did you give and give to a former partner only to find out that they didn't love you in return? Remember, trust is difficult to develop and perhaps even harder to re-establish once it has been broken.

There also are times when people we trust do harmful or hurtful things to us. Such acts are what we call betrayals -- acts that violate the expectations we hold for our partners. There are hurtful things that we would all agree are acts of betrayal in our relationships, such as, if our partner has an affair or lies to us. These acts are painful because we are confronted with the fact that our partner, whom we trusted, is not as dependable, reliable or honest as we thought they were. Perhaps your partner did something to betray you in the past and you just can't forget it?

There Is Hope

Can you ever regain or strengthen trust in your spouse? The answer is yes. Trust can be rebuilt, but it takes a lot of work and commitment on both partners' parts. You cannot rebuild trust in your relationship alone. You must both be highly committed to working on re-establishing trust.

Here is some advice on how to rebuild or strengthen trust with your partner.

To get started, set a specific time period (e.g., six weeks, six months) to both work on the relationship and trust. Then communicate your lack of trust to your partner in a constructive way. Be sure you don't attack your partner (either physically or psychologically), and listen to their responses in any discussion or disagreement. It is very important both partners understand the other's perspective.

It may take time, but sit down together and make a list of the positive things in your relationship. Coming up with these qualities with your partner is important. The rebuilding or strengthening of trust takes a long time. Remember, when your relationship first started it took time to develop trust. To rebuild it takes even longer -- and that's a message you and your partner should both listen to.

World's Craziest Festivals

1) La Tomatina, Spain

Where it's held: Bunol, near the Spanish city of Valencia
What happens: One hundred tons of over-ripe tomatoes are tossed into the streets, where tens of thousands of revellers quickly reduce them to pulp, leap around and generally enjoy being drenched in reddish, tomato-flavoured mush. Ever wondered what ketchup would be like if it consisted of 60% human sweat? Time to find out…
Why it happens: Nobody's entirely sure, but a food fight of some sort back in the 1940s is thought to have been such fun that it turned into an annual tradition.
Best reason to attend: Nothing unites people like an essentially meaningless large-scale food fight; you'll get to mingle with many folks from dozens of countries and see the humble tomato in a whole new light.

2) Redneck Games, USA

Where it's held: East Dublin, in the US State of Georgia
What happens: Every summer, thousands turn up to watch or take part in such highbrow events as hubcap throwing, bobbing for pig's feet, seed spitting and the big hair contest. Gurning and belly-flopping into pits of mud are also on the agenda, and a fun time is had by all. Appropriately enough, trophies for the victors are in the shape of a crushed beer can.
Why it happens: Back in 1996, someone opined that the Atlanta olympics were being staged by a bunch of rednecks; a local DJ picked up on the idea and decided to hold games that really were staged by a bunch of rednecks. The rest is history.
Best reason to attend: All profits go to local charities and you'll get to experience that famed Southern hospitality: organisers proclaim that "everyone and their butt crack is welcome".

3) Ivana Kupala, Russia / Ukraine

Where it's held Russia and the Ukraine
What happens: This one's all about celebrating the water and fire elements and adoring the great outdoors. On the summer solstice, youths don wreaths, set bonfires alight and leap over them, individually or hand-in-hand with a loved one. Symbolic dolls are dressed up and burned or "drowned", and there's plenty of singing and dancing.
Why it happens: The day's events have their basis in an ancient Pagan fertility ceremony. Tradition holds that there are lots of opportunities for prophesy on Ivana Kupala night; girls can learn their fortunes from the way their wreaths float away on a river, and wealth is assured for anyone who finds a fern flower during the revelry.
Best reason to attend: What could be more lovely than enjoying the countryside on a warm summer's evening? Just make sure to jump high enough that your clothes don't catch fire.

4) Naked Festival, Japan

Where it's held: Inazawa City, Japan
What happens: Thousands of young men, with nothing but a loincloth protecting their nether regions from the biting Japanese winter, throng a symbolic naked man who is paraded through the streets on a journey towards a particular shrine. The fellow in question, the "Shin-Otoko", must be completely shaved of hair and can expect to be bruised, battered and generally manhandled as the followers try to grab hold of any bit of him they can reach.
Why it happens: Tradition holds that the Naked Man absorbs the bad luck and past indiscretions of those who touch him; for hundreds of years, followers have strived to transfer their evil spirits to him and harry him out of town.
Best reason to attend: Japan is a place that's nearly always polite, civilised and ordered; here's a chance to see a bit of its slightly creepy side in action.

5) Burning Man, USA

Where it's held: Black Rock Desert, in the US State of Nevada
What happens: Earthy New Age types swarm upon an unworldly desert to dress up in outlandish costumes, share artworks, listen to music and burn a 40-foot tall effigy of a man. This "experimental community" of up to 50,000 people is all about self-expression, leaving all creature comforts back home and "learning self-reliance".
Why it happens: Back in 1986, a group of friends hanging out on a California beach set fire to an 8-foot effigy of a man, as you do, and were impressed by the number of onlookers who came to gawp. They felt it was all a bit spiritual and decided they should do the same thing again the next year. The tradition was born, later merging with a Nevada-based festival to become the juggernaut that Burning Man is now.
Best reason to attend: Local authorities in many parts of the world would frown upon slathering green body paint all over one's person and driving around naked in home-made pedal cars; here, you can do that and still be the most conservative person at the party.

6) Onbashira, Japan

Where it's held: Nagano, Japan
What happens: Onbashira is a game of two halves. The first bit of the festival involvs a ceremonial dragging of huge logs down from mountain slopes towards four Shinto shrines. Brave youths show off by standing on the logs as they slide downhill. Stage two of the event involves the logs being raised into position to support the shrine buildings.
Why it happens: This six-yearly ceremony has supposedly been going on for more than a millenium and serves to give the central shrine a symbolic renewal.
Best reason to attend: Log-surfing is a bit of a niche activity which you won't see in many other places.

7) Vegetarian Festival, Thailand

Where it's held: Phuket, Thailand
What happens: During the ninth lunar month of the Chinese calendar, Phuket locals of Chinese descent observe a meat-free diet for ten days as a sort of spiritual detox program. Rituals and processions are staged across town, with some participants piercing bodily bits in all manner of painful ways to express their devotion.
Best reason to attend: To watch a truly incredible spectacle, and to be glad that someone else rather than yourself is pulling a wagon with wires strung through their face.

8) Roswell UFO Festival, USA

Where it's held: Roswell, in the US State of New Mexico
What happens:UFO enthusiasts get together to attend parties, speeches, book signings, parades and all manner of other social events. Often, while dressed as aliens.
Why it happens: Believers love Roswell because legend has it that an alien spacecraft crashed in the desert just outside of this usually-sleepy town in 1947. Extra-terrestrial beings, some still alive, were supposedly found at the crash site and their wrecked flying saucer squirrelled away for secret analysis. The US government insists the spaceship was a mere weather balloon. Spoilsports.
Best reason to attend: Because the truth is out there.

9) Danjiri Matsuri, Japan

Where it's held: Various places in Japan, but the most famous event is in Kishiwada, Osaka
What happens: Groups of locals haul ornate wooden carts through the town streets at alarming speed, making lots of noise as they go. A carpenter surfs atop each cart and tries not to fall into the heaving crowds of bystanders.
Why it happens: It's said to have derived from harvest festivals several hundred years ago. The Danjiri is also an opportunity for folks from various neighbourhood groupings to big themselves up, by making their cart the most impressive with ornate carvings and paintings.
Best reason to attend: No visit to Japan would be complete without seeing at least one eccentric festival or parade, and this is the perfect opportunity.

Top Ten Long-Haul Honeymoon Hotspots

Getting married any time soon? If you're in need of ideas for a honeymoon destination, look no further: here are the ten most popular long-haul spots for newlywed couples, as rounded up by luxury holiday specialists Destinology. And if you're not fortunate enough to be tying the knot, just find some other excuse to splash out and head for one of these tropical paradises...

1. Maritius

Topping the list, the "Pearl of the Indian Ocean" offers a hatful of stunning beaches, is a manageable size and has a broad range of luxury hotel options.

2. The Maldives

Low-lying, low-key and surrounded by some of the planet's clearest and bluest waters, the Maldives remain a popular choice for UK couples.

3. Dubai

Up-and-coming Dubai is making its mark as a honeymoon destination thanks to a superb climate, golden beaches and impressive shopping and nightlife options.

4. Koh Samui

Whether you want to kick back and have a quiet time or party til dawn on the beach, this idyllic Thai island will cater to your needs.

5. Langkawi

Beautiful, laid-back Langkawai (part of Malaysia) is a verdant and enigmatic island with ancient rainforests and mountains leading down to white sand beaches.

6. Barbados

A perennial favourite with UK travellers, Barbados has it all; excellent weather, picture-perfect beaches, charming towns and villages and a beautiful green interior well worth exploring.

7. St. Lucia

The much-photographed twin peaks of St Lucia provide a stunning backdrop to your Caribbean honeymoon. Scuba dive, take a horse-ride on the beach or just chill at a fantastic hotel resort.

8. Krabi

One of the less well-known places on our list, Krabi is a delghtful island on Thailand's Andaman coast, offering beautiful beaches, sheltered coves and secluded mangrove forests and waterfalls.

9. Sri Lanka

Continuing to grow in popularity, Sri Lanka offers fine beaches and fascinating culture. It may not be as developed as some Indian Ocean islands but has many first-class beach hotels to pick from.

10. Las Vegas

The themed hotels of "Sin City" means you can enjoy a flavour of Venice, Paris, Egypt and other places all in one glitzy modern city. Plus, there's more food than you could ever eat, warm sun nearly all year round, and gorgeous mountain scenery just outside of town.

World's Top Nude Beaches

Sun, sea and stripping off...

If you're the kind of person that feels overdressed in swimwear and you like to bare all when you holiday in the sun, this selection of great nude beaches around the world will be right up your street.

In most corners of the planet you'll find an abundance of excellent beaches where nakedness is fully acceptable; here's our pick of some of the very best...

1) Naked in North America

San Onofre, USA

The only beach in our round-up to be sung about in the Beach Boys's "Surfin' USA", San Onofre is an impressive stretch of sand at San Clemente, California. This is a place where local military forces and nude sunbathers get awkwardly close, for the US Marine Corps have a camp in the area. As the musical connection suggests, it's a prime surf spot too, but catching waves in the altogether is not recommended unless you like stinging sensations and getting berated by macho surfing types.

More info: USA country guide

Baker Beach, USA

In the shadow of the Golden Gate Bridge, Baker Beach is a mile-long strip of sand just a few moments from the bustle and tourist mayhem of San Francisco's waterfront area. This being America, you have to stay in the official nude area of the beach (stick north of the "Hazardous Surf" sign) or you may get a stern ticking off from officials. It's a lovely beach but not the best spot for prolonged swimming; the water in the Bay is famously cold and there are various shark species milling around, ready to nibble at body parts that intrigue them.
More info: USA country guide

2) Bare Down Under...

Swanbourne Beach, Australia

This superb beach near Perth, Western Australia, is the site of the annual Australian Nude Beach Olympics, where people turn up to play volleyball, tug-of-war and other beach sports in the buff. It remains a massively popular destination the rest of the year too, with naturists from around the world splashing in the clean water and enjoying the shade provided by sizeable dunes. Making things even more interesting is the fact that a military rifle range sits just beyond the beach; don't stray too close or you may find privates firing at your privates. Strewth!

More info: Australia country guide

3) Naked in Greece

Paleochora and Elefonisi, Greece

On the island of Crete, lovely Paleochora beach has a superb setting, with the sand backing onto trees and then mountains. The northern stretch of beach is where naked folk let it all hang out. Elefonisi meanwhile has a more tropical, almost Caribbean feel to it; water here is crystal clear and though it's not specified as a nudist beach, you'll encounter many a clothes-less bather by the dunes.

More info: Greece country guide

4) In the buff in Britain

Studland Bay, Dorset

It's one of Britain's best-known naturist beaches but Studland Bay is family-friendly too, for the naked and clothed areas are clearly marked out. As well as being a delightfully scenic summer spot for chilling out (naked or otherwise) and enjoying the surrounds, Studland is popular with birdwatchers, who get to spot such rare birds as the Black-necked Grebe. Want more trivia? It's also the place where Coldplay's clever "Yellow" video was filmed.

5) Naked fun in the Mexican sun

Tulum, Mexico

Tulum is quite possibly the world's best option if you want to combine an all-inclusive resort holiday, a dash of fascinating cultural attractions nearby and, of course, lots of sunbathing in the buff. There's a glorious little secluded beach (above) or you can be comfortably naked in and around the naturist-friendly Cabanas Copal Hotel just above it. Nearby are stunning Mayan ruins, looming over the blue pacific ocean for one of the country's finest photo opps.

More info: Guide to Mexico

6) Nude beach fun in Croatia

Valalta, Croatia

This busy Croatian destination is not merely a nude beach but an entire resort situated in a lovely area of fjords. As well as two huge, clean bays for swimming, there's a large pool and sundeck area interspersed with landscaped gardens and olive trees. If you feel like taking a break from all that garment-free sun-worshipping, Croatia remains one of Europe's most popular destinations, with endless scenery and charming towns to explore.

More info: Guide to Croatia

Wonders of the modern world

1) Millau Viaduct

Built: 2004
Where to find it: Millau, France
Designed by Norman Foster, the viaduct is the tallest vehicular bridge in the world - the summit of one pier topping out at 343 metres. It unlocked the bottleneck that hampered tourists travelling from northern Europe to the south of France and Spain, clipping 4 hours off the journey time.
What to do there: There is an exhibition centre and a viewing point where you can take in the breathtaking view of the viaduct and the Tarn Gorge it spans.

2) Petronas Towers

Built: 1998
Where to find them: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Preposterously huge buildings have been springing up the world over in recent years, but none have acquired instant iconic status quite as fast as these distinctive silver towers that soar over the Malaysian capital at a total height of 1483 feet.
What to do there: Arrive early in the morning and grab a free ticket to the dramatic sky bridge that connects the two towers. This being South-east Asia, there's also an obligatory shopping mall in the basement.

3) Empire State Building

Built: 1931
Where to find it: New York, USA
Even in a city of skyscrapers, the Empire State Building dominates the skyline whichever side you're looking from. Its 102 storeys of art deco grandeur have survived a collision with a B-25 bomber, multiple ravaging from King Kong, and once again has became Manhattan's tallest building after the World Trade Centre was destroyed in 2001.
What to do there: A trip to the building's 86th-floor observatory is a must for any New York visit, but those seeking an even greater high should keep going to the 102nd floor lookout area for a small extra fee. On the way up, be sure to admire the 1930s-tastic interiors. If you'd like to view the building from the outside at close-ish proximity, the upper floors of the Rockefeller Center make a prime gazing spot.

4) Channel Tunnel

Built: 1994
Where to find it: Folkestone, England, and Coquelles, France
Not an attraction so much as a supremely handy piece of engineering, the Channel Tunnel's long-delayed opening has proved worth the wait.
What to do there: Jump on a Eurostar train with your luggage from Waterloo Station London or Ashford in Kent, or drive a vehicle onboard at Folkestone, and you'll be on the other side of La Manche in about 20 minutes. It's ever so clever. Visit www.eurotunnel.com for more info.

5) Sydney Opera House

Built: 1973
Nicely complementing the nearby Harbour Bridge, the striking white roofs of Sydney's famed arts venue are the focal point of the city's waterfront area. It's a truly enigmatic building to explore, both from the inside and out.
What to do there: Don't just pause on the steps for a quick photo; this is a world-class venue for theatre, music, comedy and other performances. Visit http://www.sydneyoperahouse.com%20for booking info. At the very least, take a guided tour to get a real feel for this amazing structure.

6) Bellagio Fountains

Built: 1999
Where to find them: The Bellagio hotel, Las Vegas, USA
These are no ordinary dancing fountains. 1,200 jets of water combine with 4,500 lights to lay on the most impressive free show in town, swaying and leaping in perfect time to music and leaving passing tourists captivated (and occasionally soaked). Even by Vegas standards, it's an incredible spectacle that will leave you wondering how on earth it's all done.
What to do there: Stop for a break as you stroll along the Strip, and take in the free show - performances kick off every 15 minutes.

7) Eiffel Tower

Ancient wonders are all well and good, but many modern feats of engineering can be just as jaw-dropping to experience and are often a lot easier to visit. We present a selection of some of modern mankind's most impressive works of construction, varying from the supremely useful to the purely entertaining.

Built: 1889
Where to find it: Paris, France
10,000 tonnes of steel make up one of Europe's most recognisable structures, a true engineering marvel that continues to wow visitors more than a century after it was constructed.
What to do there: Climb up, admire views of Paris, propose to a loved one, eat at one of the two restaurants within the structure.

Truth Be Told

The truth behind some of today's most prevalent myths about birth control and sex.

Myth: Oral and Manual Sex Are Completely Safe Alternatives

Teens have mixed opinions about these acts. Some view them as a way to get the benefits of sex without any of the risks. But plenty of others end up worried that thing like oral sex could leave them pregnant. Both are wrong.

The Truth: Oral, manual, and anal sex aren't risk-free. All these alternatives to sex, particularly anal, can still spread STDs. To reduce the risk of infection with anal sex, use condoms. For oral sex you can use condoms or dental dams. On the other hand, there isn't much of a chance these acts could get you pregnant. Pregnancy is only possible if semen gets on your vaginal area (even the outside).

Myth: You Can't Get Pregnant On Your Period

The Truth: It's not common, but it is possible. Women are fertile when they're ovulating—that is, when their body has released a mature egg cell into their reproductive tract. Periods flush the egg away, so it's true that, technically, there's nothing for sperm to fertilize until another egg is released. However, sperm can live in the vagina for several days—anywhere from five to seven, depending on who you ask. If you have unprotected sex on your period and there are still sperm around when you start ovulating again, pregnancy can happen.

Myth: Douching or Jumping Up and Down After Sex Will Prevent Pregnancy

The Truth: If that were the case, women who wanted to get pregnant would never be able to stand up. Women's bodies have evolved to keep at least some of the semen from falling out when they stand; there's actually a sort of indentation inside the vagina that holds semen in place after sex. Jumping up and down will not knock it all out. Douching—no matter what you douche with—may just push the sperm into your uterus. If you've had unprotected sex in the last five days and are worried about getting pregnant, the best option is emergency contraception. You can get it through your doctor or through a Planned Parenthood health center.

Myth: Guys Who Drink Mountain Dew Can't Get You Pregnant

The Truth: This myth is associated with long-standing urban legends about yellow dye No. 5. But, fact is, that yellow dye has been in use for nearly 100 years and is approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. Suffice to say, it doesn't lower sperm count. Even if it did, a man with a low sperm count still might have as many as 20 million of the little swimmers in every cubic centimeter of semen. And there's at least two to four cc of semen every time a man ejaculates. That's still plenty of chances to get pregnant.

Myth: Only Teenagers Have Unplanned Pregnancies

The Truth: The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy says that the birthrate among women age 15 to 19 has dropped by 35 percent since 1991. Today, unintended pregnancies are common among women in their late 40s. The problem: Many older women assume they're too old to get pregnant before they actually are. Some also mistake pre-menopausal symptoms for menopause itself and stop using protection, only to discover that they had at least one viable egg left.

Highest-Paid TV Celebrities!

When it comes to what pays on U.S. television, talk doesn't come cheap -- nor apparently does a loud mouth.

Financial magazine Forbes on Thursday published a list of the highest-paid TV celebrities, with daytime talk show host Oprah Winfrey leading the way by earning an $260 million between June 2006 and June 2007. Nobody else came close.

Second in the list was Jerry Seinfeld earning $60 million.

Winfrey was joined at the top of the list by another talk show host, David Letterman, who landed at No. 4 by raking in $40 million in the same period from his "Late Night with David Letterman."

Simon Cowell, the arrogant and harshly critical judge on top-rated talent show "American Idol" earned $45 million to land at No. 3, and Donald Trump, whose boisterous exclamation "You're Fired" from reality show "The Apprentice" became part of the pop culture lexicon, was No. 5 with $32 million.

The list shows that in the media arena, it pays to own and produce either all or part of your shows, like Oprah.

That notion becomes abundantly clear in the No. 2 slot, where Jerry Seinfeld sits with $60 million earned mostly from reruns of his co-owned 1990's sitcom "Seinfeld."

Despite the fact that prime-time TV shows win awards and critical acclaim, Forbes Senior Editor Lea Goldman noted that daytime TV and news is where stars rake in the dough.

"Daytime personalities dominate our list of TV's top earners, with most competition among morning and afternoon talk show hosts," said Goldman.

Barbara Walters, another star who owns and co-produces her daytime show "The View," landed at No. 18 with $12 million.

The remaining top 20 is as follows;

6. Jay Leno, $32 million
7. Dr. Phil McGraw, $30 million
8. "Judge" Judy Sheindlin, $30 million
9. George Lopez, $26 million
10. Kiefer Sutherland, $22 million
11. Regis Philbin, $21 million
12. Tyra Banks, $18 million
13. Rachael Ray, $16 million,
14. Katie Couric, $15 million
15. Ellen DeGeneres, $15 million
16. Ryan Seacrest, $14 million
17. Matt Lauer, $13 million
18, Barbara Walters, $12 million
19. Diane Sawyer, $12 million
20. Meredith Vieira, $10 million

'Herbal viagra': Is it safe?

Because herbal products aren't subject to the same rigorous standards as are prescription or over-the-counter medications, it's not possible to endorse any of these so-called herbal viagra products as "safe."

Sildenafil (Viagra) is a prescription medication used to treat erectile dysfunction. It works by increasing blood flow to the penis when a man is sexually aroused.

Many herbal products marketed as sexual stimulants claim to be "natural versions" of Viagra — but they are not the same as the prescription drug. Some contain substances (vasodilators) that improve blood flow by relaxing the walls of blood vessels. But no herbal products are as specific for blood vessels to the penis as Viagra and other similar prescription drugs are. As a result, these herbal remedies may cause generalized low blood pressure and restrict blood flow to vital organs.

One popular herbal medicine called yohimbe — which is marketed as a sexual stimulant — can be dangerous if used in excessive amounts. If you have erectile dysfunction, see your doctor to discuss proven treatment options.

Prescription medicine and erection problems

A number of medicines are associated with erection problems (erectile dysfunction). Let your doctor know if you are taking any of these medicines. If they are affecting your ability to have an erection, your doctor may be able to modify the amount you take or find an alternative.

Medicines with a high incidence of causing erection problems include:

- Clomipramine hydrochloride (Anafranil), which is used to treat obsessive-compulsive disorder. - Flutamide (Eulexin), which is used to treat prostate cancer.
- Leuprolide acetate (Lupron), which is used to treat prostate cancer.
- Naltrexone hydrochloride (Trexan), which is used to treat alcohol dependence.

Other medicines can cause erection problems.

Examples of medicines that can cause erection problems

High blood pressure reduction
· amlodipine (such as Norvasc)
· atenolol (such as Tenormin)
· clonidine (such as Catapres)
· methyldopa (such as Aldomet)
· metoprolol (Lopressor, Toprol XL)
· nifedipine (such as Adalat, Adalat CC, Procardia)
· propranolol (such as Inderal)

Diuretics
· acetazolamide (such as Diamox)
· chlorothiazide (such as Diuril)
· chlorthalidone (such as Thalitone)
· hydralazine (such as Apresoline)
· hydrochlorothiazide (Carozide, Diaqua)
· hydrochlorothiazide and metoprolol (such as Lopressor HCT)
· spironolactone (such as Aldactone, Spironol)
· triamterene (such as Dyrenium)

Antidepressants
· amitriptyline (such as Elavil, Endep, Vanatrip)
· citalopram (such as Celexa)
· escitalopram oxalate (Lexapro)
· fluoxetine (such as Prozac, Sarafem)
· fluvoxamine (such as Luvox)
· imipramine (such as Tofranil)
· isocarboxazid (such as Marplan)
· nortriptyline hydrochloride (such as Aventyl HCl, Pamelor)
· paroxetine (such as Paxil)
· phenelzine (such as Nardil)
· sertraline (such as Zoloft)
· tranylcypromine (such as Parnate)

Antipsychotics
· chlorpromazine (such as Thorazine)
· fluphenazine (such as Permitil, Prolixin)
· haloperidol (such as Haldol)
· perphenazine (such as Trilafon)
· risperidone (such as Risperdal)
· thioridazine
· thiothixene (such as Navane)

Hormones
· estrogens
· luteinizing hormone-releasing hormone analogues (such as Zoladex, Lupron)

Cholesterol-lowering
· gemfibrozil (such as Lopid)
· niacin (such as Nicolar, Nicotinex)

Anticonvulsants
· carbamazepine (such as Carbatrol, Epitol, Tegretol)
· phenobarbital (such as Solfoton)
· phenytoin (such as Dilantin)

Cardiovascular
· digoxin (such as Lanoxicaps, Lanoxin)

Ulcers and heartburn treatment
· cimetidine (such as Tagamet)
· famotidine (such as Mylanta AR, Pepcid)
· metoclopramide hydrochloride (such as Reglan)
· nizatidine (such as Axid AR, Axid Pulvules)
· ranitidine (such as Zantac)

Other medicines that may have an effect on erections include medicines for:

- Hepatitis C or human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), such as interferon alfa-2a or recombinant (Roferon-A).

- Parkinson's disease, such as levodopa (Sinemet).

- Nausea and vomiting, such as prochlorperazine (Compazine) and promethazine (Phenergan, Promethegan).

The Safest Sex

Ah, sexual fantasy. It has one big advantage over sexual reality: You have total control over everything that happens. You won't be humiliated or suffer at the hands of a brutish lover unless, of course, that's what you want.

Consider the possibilities. Your fantasy partner can be a celebrity, the guy who works down the hall, or your best friend's mate. You enjoy complete choice of venue: a tropical island, an elevator, a tree swing. And the activity in question can range from romantic, longing glances to sexual gymnastics that would strain a circus contortionist.

So perhaps the most surprising fact about our fantasies is this: The sexual scenario we most often imagine is the ordinary, non-kinky intercourse with a past or current lover. Despite the potential for limitless freedom, our fantasies generally stay firmly tethered to reality.
Don't worry if you assumed most fantasies were a bit more risque. Even in today's tell-all culture, sexual fantasies remain one of our last taboos, something that people simply don't discuss.

"We tell each other almost everything--our sexual habits, who we lust for, how much money we make," notes Columbia University psychiatrist Ethel Person, M.D., author of By Force of Fantasy. "But I do not know the sexual fantasies of my closest friends. We regard fantansies as too revealing. They're treasured possessions, yet we're ashamed of them."

Even psychologists long found sexual fantasy vaguely disreputable, ignoring the topic almost entirely for the first half of the century. But the last two decades have produced a flurry of new information and it turns out that a lot of what we thought we knew is wrong.

Imaginary Lovers

The misconceptions about sexual fantasies began with Freud himself. In 1908 he declared that "a happy person never fantasizes, only a dissatisfied one." Later thinkers embroidered this theme, developing what has become known as the deficiency theory.

"People still believe that fantasies are compensation for lack of sexual opportunity," says Leitenberg. "That if your sex life was adequate, you wouldn't have to fantasize."

But the data show that, if anything, frequent fantasizers are having more than their share of fun in bed. They have sex more often, engage in a wider variety of erotic activities, have more partners, and masturbate more often than infrequent fantasizers.

The association between fantasies and a healthy sex life is so strong, in fact, that it's now considered pathological not to have sexual fantasies.

And no wonder. Researchers studying sexual fantasies confirm that everyone has them, from adolescence onward. Well, almost everyone: About five percent of men and women say they have never had a sexual fantasy (or won't admit to it). Person believes that these fantasy-free folks are getting a vicarious fix elsewhere--from movies, for example. Or else they simply aren't paying attention to their own thoughts.

Most adults say they first remember fantasizing between the ages of 11 and 13. From there they quickly pick up speed. Sexual fantasies and thoughts are most common in hormone-addled teens and young adults. In one study, researchers asked people at random times during the day whether sex had crossed their minds during the past five minutes. Among 14- and 15-year-olds, 57 percent of boys and 42 percent of girls said yes. Affirmative responses were less common with increasing age: among 56-to 64-year-olds, 19 percent of men and 12 percent of women answered yes.

Once you get beyond age, though, it's hard to predict whether a given person has lots of fantasies. Attempts to identify a "fantasy-prone" type of individual have been woefully unsuccessful. Even religious and political views provide few clues. Conservatives have just as many fantasies as liberals--despite the fact that, according to one study, nearly half of conservative Christians feel sexual fantasies are "morally flawed or unacceptable."

The devout aren't the only ones who have mixed feelings. One in four people feel strong guilt about their fantasies, reports Leitenberg. Most of this hand-wringing "involves people who feel guilty about fantasizing while making love to their partners," he says. Even among sexually adventurous groups like college students, 22 percent of women and 8 percent of men said they usually try to repress the feelings associated with fantasy.

Guilt also strikes when fantasy and personal ideology collide. "There are people who feel that their sexual fantasies are not a part of them," Person says. "The CEO of a Fortune 500 company may have masochistic fantasies of being tied to a bed, and he might be perfectly comfortable because he sees that as respite from having to be in control; whereas some feminists are ashamed because they have masochistic fantasies and they feel that the fantasies are contrary to their political beliefs."

Such guilt exacts a heavy toll. Those who fret over their fantasies have sex less often and enjoy it less, even though the content of their fantasies is no different from those of the guilt-free.

But even unusual and "deviant" fantasies give little reason for concern in healthy individuals. It's true that we sometimes use fantasies as a springboard for later sexual hijinks. But the path from fantasy to deviance is anything but direct.

Rape fantasies, for instance, are far more common than rapes themselves. And as an extreme example, consider that only 22 percent of child molesters say they had sexual fantasies about kids before their first molestation. So unusual fantasies are a concern only when they become compulsive or exclusive, or for individuals "in whom the barrier between thought and behavior has been broken.

Exactly why your fantasies differ from those of your friends is not well understood. But theories abound. Certainly personal experience and the things we see, hear, and read about enter the mix.

External stimuli like sexy advertisements or scantily clad passersby, in fact, may be responsible for the off-noted observation that men fantasize more than women. In a sample of college students, researchers found that men fantasized or thought about sex 7.2 times a day, compared to 4.5 for women. For each sex, two of those fantasies were internally triggered. But men reported twice as many externally provoked thoughts.

Our favorite internally triggered fantasies probably attain preferred status through classical conditioning, the sane process that had Pavlov's dogs drooling at the sound of a bell. Fantasies that accompany orgasms are particularly reinforced, for instance, making them more arousing next time around. From there "we embellish them, change them," says Person. "They're like an evolving series." Scenarios that don't accompany arousal are discarded.

While the most common fantasies involve routine sex with a past, present, or imaginary partner, that's not to say that we don't occasionally give our fantasy muscles a more strenuous workout. In addition to those decidedly "vanilla" scenarios, Leitenberg and Henning describe three other primary flavors of fantasy:

- Novel or "forbidden" imagery. This includes unconventional settings, questionable partners like strangers or relatives, and ligament-straining positions worthy of the Kama Sutra. Or as Dr. Seuss once asked (albeit in a somewhat different context): "Would you, could you, in a boat? Could you, would you, with a goat?"
- Scenes of sexual irresistibility. Here the emphasis is on seductive power: overcoming the reluctance of an initially indifferent man or woman through sheer animal magnetism. Or the irresistibility may take numerical form in fantasies involving multiple partners.

- Dominance and submission fantasies. In these, sexual power is expressed either ritualistically--in sadomasochistic activities--or through physical force, as in rape fantasies. Such fantasies are surprisingly common. Person reports that 44 percent of men have had fantasies of dominating a partner. Other studies found that 51 percent of women fantasized about being forced to have sex, while a third imagined: "I'm a slave who must obey a man's every wish."

None of this means, of course, that real-world rape victims "really want it." "Women who find submission fantasies sexually arousing are very clear that they have no wish to be raped in reality," say Leitenberg and Henning. In their fantasies, women control every aspect of what occurs. And their scenarios are far less brutal than real-life attacks. Typically the fantasy involves an attractive man whose restraint is simply overwhelmed by the woman's attractiveness. These fantasies serve the same psychological purpose as scenes of irresistibility. "It's different means to the same end" says Leitenberg. "We want to be desired."
Incidentally, researchers find little difference in the fantasies of hetero- and homosexuals--except in the gender of participants.

It doesn't take a Ph.D. to figure out that the fantasies of men and women differ. Just look at the fantasy scenarios that publishers push.

Men have Playboy: big-busted women exposing their attributes, in almost clinical detail, from a variety of angles and positions. For women, on the other hand, there are tales like The Bridges of Madison County and cookie-cutter Harlequin romances. The covers may depict heaving bosoms and Fabio's muscular physique, but the sex always comes packaged within an emotional, passionate romance.

While all this may change as sexual roles and cultural attitudes change, fantasies still fall along those gender lines. When male and female college students were asked to write out in detail three fantasies they had, women were more likely to describe romance and commitment while men mentioned a greater number of sexual acts.

In another study of 300 college students, 41 percent of the women but only 16 percent of the men--said that while fantasizing they focused on the "personal or emotional characteristics of the partner." Men, however, were four times as likely to focus on their fantasy partner's physical characteristics. Sociobiologists argue that these discrepancies represent evolved behavioral differences between men and women. But even if that's true, Leitenberg observes, there are certainly cultural pressures for women not to think about sex outside of a committed relationship, lest they be labeled a "slut."

The romance/genitalia dichotomy isn't the only major differences in male and female fantasies. Here are some others:

1) Men are more likely to imagine themselves doing something to a woman, and their fantasies focus on her body. Women, on the other hand, tend to envision something being done to them and to concentrate more on their partner's interest in her.

2) Male fantasies more often involve sex with two or more partners at one time. In one study, a third of men had fantasies about sex with multiple partners--twice the number of women. Guys are also more likely to switch partners in mid-fantasy.

3) Both sexes imagine overpowering a partner or being forced to submit to another's wishes. But men are more likely to have domination fantasies, while women tend to see themselves submitting to a partner's sexual wishes. One researcher reports that 13 percent of women but only 4 percent of men said that their favorite fantasy was being forced to have sex.

4) Men have a greater variety of fantasies. Asked to check off all those they had experienced in the past three months (on a list of 55), male collegians indicated 26 of them. Women listed only 14.

Dream On

There's still a lot no one knows about sexual fantasies. Is the frequency and range of fantasies similar in other cultures? How does the content of fantasies change over one's lifetime? And what happens when we act on our fantasies? Does it spoil them--or make them more vivid? "We have no idea,".

But what we do know is proof enough that fantasies are an essential part of our sexual repertoire. Far from being a sign of sexual inadequacy or deprivation, fantasies are associated with a healthy, happy sex life. The people who have the most sexual problems fantasize least.

Indeed, fantasy's power to arouse us--some folks say they can achieve orgasm solely from sexual thoughts, or "thinking off" -- proves that the brain is as potent a sexual organ as one's genitalia. And though most erotic thoughts are relatively ordinary, our more imaginative flights allow us to explore our sexuality without risk of physical harm or social rejection. Consider this finding: Imagining having sex with your current lover is a popular fantasy when you're not engaged in sexual activity--while imagining sex with a new partner is a popular fantasy during intercourse.

Most of us need no further justification for fantasy beyond the fun factor. "Sexual fantasy is a natural part of being human". "It's pleasurable. So being the Lord of Romance, I say.... why not fantasize?"

Erection Problems (Erectile Dysfunction)

What are erection problems?

A man has erection problems if he cannot get or keep an erection that is firm enough for him to have sex. Erection problems are also called erectile dysfunction or impotence.

Erection problems can occur at any age. But they are more common in older men, who often have other health problems. Treatment can help both older and younger men.

What causes erection problems?

Erection problems may be caused by physical problems, such as injury to nerves or loss of blood supply to the penis.

They can also be linked to other health problems. These include diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and atherosclerosis. Erection problems can also be linked to problems with the nervous system, such as multiple sclerosis and Parkinson's disease.

Many medicines for other health problems may cause erection problems, but most do not. If you recently began taking a new medicine and started having erection problems, this could be a side effect of the medicine. Talk with your doctor. He or she may be able to change the dose or type of medicine you take.

Men who drink too much alcohol, smoke, or use illegal drugs also are at risk for erection problems.
Anxiety, stress, or depression can cause erection problems.

Other causes include surgery, such as for prostate cancer, or injury to the pelvic area.

What are the symptoms?

The only symptom of an erection problem is being unable to get and keep an erection that is firm enough to have sex. But even with an erection problem, a man may still have sexual desire and be able to have an orgasm and to ejaculate.

How are erection problems diagnosed?

Your doctor can find out if you have an erection problem by asking questions about your health and doing a physical exam. Your doctor will want to know if the problem happens all the time or just from time to time. The exam, lab tests, and sometimes mental health tests can help find out the cause of the problem.

How are they treated?

There are a number of treatments for erection problems. Doctors usually start with lifestyle changes and medicines. They usually don't advise surgery or other treatments unless those first steps don't help.

Treatment can include:

- Making lifestyle changes, such as avoiding tobacco, drugs, and alcohol. It may also help to talk about the issue with your partner, do sensual exercises, and get counselling.

- Finding and then stopping medicines that may be causing the problem. In some cases you can take a different medicine that does not cause erection problems.

- Taking prescription medicine that can help you get erections. These include pills such as Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis. Check with your doctor to see if it is safe for you to take Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis with your other medicines. These can be dangerous if you have heart disease that requires you to take nitroglycerin or other medicines that contain nitrates.

- Taking medicines and getting counseling for depression or anxiety.

- Using vacuum devices or getting shots of medicine into the penis.

- Having surgery to place an implant in the penis.

Can you prevent erection problems?

Because erection problems are most often caused by a physical problem, it’s important to eat healthy foods and get enough exercise to help you stay in good health.

To reduce your risk of having an erection problem, do not smoke, drink too much alcohol, or use illegal drugs.

You may be able to avoid erection problems related to anxiety and stress by talking with your partner about your concerns. This may help you relax.

Exposure to Sexually Transmitted Diseases

Aside from colds and the flu, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are some of the most widespread diseases both in the United States and the world. STDs affect both men and women, and two-thirds of all STDs occur in people younger than 25 years old. Exposure to an STD can occur any time you have sexual contact with anyone that involves the genitals, the mouth (oral), or the rectum (anal). Exposure is more likely if you have more than one sex partner or do not use condoms. Some STDs can be passed by nonsexual contact, such as by sharing needles or during the delivery of a baby or during breast-feeding. Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are also called sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

STDs are a worldwide public health concern because there is more opportunity for STDs to be spread as more people travel and engage in sexual activities. Some STDs have been linked to an increased risk of certain cancers and infection with human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). Pregnant women can spread STDs to their babies. Many people may not have symptoms of an STD but are still able to spread an infection. STD testing can help find problems early on so that treatment can begin if needed. It is important to practice safe sex with all partners, especially if you or they have high-risk sexual behaviors. See the Prevention section of this topic.
Common sexually transmitted diseases

There are at least 20 different STDs. They can be caused by viruses, bacteria and protozoa. Some of the most common STDs in the U.S. are:

- Chlamydia.

- Genital herpes

- Genital warts or human papillomavirus (HPV).

- Certain high-risk types of HPV can cause cervical cancer in women.

- Gonorrhoea.

- Hepatitis B. Syphilis.

- Trichomoniasis.

- Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), which causes AIDS. Having other STDs, such as genital herpes, can increase your risk of HIV.

- Other infections that may be sexually transmitted. These include hepatitis A, cytomegalovirus, molluscum contagiosum, bacterial vaginosis, Mycoplasma genitalium, and possibly hepatitis C.

- Scabies and pubic lice, which can be spread by sexual contact.

Bacterial STDs can be treated and cured, but STDs caused by viruses usually cannot be cured. You can get a bacterial STD over and over again, even if it is one that you were treated for and cured of in the past.

Sexually active teens and young adults

Sexually active teenagers and young adults are at high risk for STDs because they have biological changes during the teen years that increase their risk for getting an STD and they may be more likely to:

- Have unprotected sex.

- Have multiple partners.

- Engage in high-risk sexual behaviors.

Studies show that:

- Sexually active teenagers contract 25% of all new STDs each year.

- Between 12% and 25% of sexually active teen girls test positive for chlamydia.

- As many as 30% to 50% of sexually active teenagers have been infected with the human papillomavirus (HPV).

- Sexually active teenagers between 15 and 19 years old have the highest rates of gonorrhea.

- Genital herpes infection has increased more than 50% in sexually active teenagers.

- About 25% of new HIV infections occur in people under 22 years old.

It is important to seek treatment if you think you may have an STD or have been exposed to an STD. Most health departments, family planning clinics, and STD clinics provide confidential services for the diagnosis and treatment of STDs. Early treatment can cure a bacterial STD and prevent complications.

If you are a parent of a teenager, there are many resources available, such as your health professional or family planning clinics, to help you talk with your teen about safe sex, preventing STDs, and being evaluated and treated for STDs.

Risks specific to women with sexually transmitted diseases

In women, STDs can cause a serious infection of the uterus and fallopian tubes (reproductive organs) called pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). PID may cause scar tissue that blocks the fallopian tubes, leading to infertility, ectopic pregnancy, pelvic abscess, or chronic pelvic pain. STDs in pregnant women may cause problems such as:

- Miscarriage.

- Low birth weight.

- Premature delivery.

- Infections in their newborn baby, such as pneumonia, eye infections, or nervous system problems.

Risks specific to men with sexually transmitted diseases

Infection and inflammation of the epididymis, urethra, and prostate. Any child or vulnerable adult with symptoms of an STD needs to be evaluated by a health professional to determine the cause and to assess for possible sexual abuse.

Premature Ejaculation

What is premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is uncontrolled ejaculation either before or shortly after sexual penetration, with minimal sexual stimulation and before the person wishes. It may result in an unsatisfactory sexual experience for both partners. This can increase the anxiety that may contribute to the problem. Premature ejaculation is one of the most common forms of male sexual dysfunction and has probably affected every man at some point in his life.

What causes premature ejaculation?

Most cases of premature ejaculation do not have a clear cause. With sexual experience and age, men often learn to delay orgasm. Premature ejaculation may occur with a new partner, only in certain sexual situations, or if it has been a long time since the last ejaculation. Psychological factors such as anxiety, guilt, or depression can cause premature ejaculation. In some cases, premature ejaculation may be related to an underlying medical cause such as hormonal problems, injury, or a side effect of certain medicines.

What are the symptoms?

The main symptom of premature ejaculation is an uncontrolled ejaculation either before or shortly after intercourse begins. Ejaculation occurs before the person wishes it, with minimal sexual stimulation.

How is premature ejaculation diagnosed?

Your health professional will discuss your medical and sexual history with you and conduct a thorough physical examination. Your doctor may want to talk to your partner as well. Because premature ejaculation can have many causes, your health professional may order laboratory tests to rule out any underlying medical problem.

How is it treated?

In many cases, premature ejaculation resolves on its own over time without the need for medical treatment. Practicing relaxation techniques or using distraction methods may help you delay ejaculation. For some men, stopping or cutting down on the use of alcohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs may improve their ability to control ejaculation.

Your health professional may recommend that you and your partner practice specific techniques to help delay ejaculation. These techniques may involve identifying and controlling the sensations that lead up to ejaculation and communicating to slow or stop stimulation. Other options include using a condom to reduce sensation to the penis or trying a different position (such as lying on your back) during intercourse. Counseling or behavioral therapy may help reduce anxiety related to premature ejaculation.

Certain antidepressant medicines called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), such as fluoxetine (Prozac), paroxetine (Paxil), and sertraline (Zoloft), are sometimes used to treat premature ejaculation. These medicines are used because a side effect of SSRIs is inhibited orgasm, which helps delay ejaculation. The use of SSRIs for the treatment of premature ejaculation is not related to depression and is considered an "off-label" use.

INTERESTING TOPICS!

Please note that below mentioned sex related topics are exclusively for adult readers. Supervision is adviced for age under 18. Please click on each topic to have a full view. More topics will be added on a regular basis. Please visit later for more interesting topics about sex that, you know, you want to know or you dont know.

Caution:
The views and ideas in this blog are solely from the research and study and each individual should contact and consult their physicians before any making any decision. The writer takes no responsibility on the action of the readers.

01. Sex During Pregnancy: An unnecessary taboo?

02. Is sex good for you?

03. Silicone Breast Implants

04. C-Sections

05. Erection Problems (Erectile Dysfunction)

06. Exposure to Sexually Transmitted Diseases

07. Premature Ejaculation

08. The Safest Sex

09. Prescription medicine and erection problems

10. 'Herbal viagra': Is it safe?

11. Truth be Told

12. Why Do I Check My Partner's Email?

13. Why Men Fall Asleep After Sex?

14. Lots of Sex May Prevent Erectile Dysfunction

15. Birth Control

16. When Sex Becomes An Addiction

Silicone Breast Implants

A controversial procedure returns to market, deemed safe but still doubtful.

After a 14-year ban, silicone implants were re-approved in November 2006.

The ban came from the FDA’s reaction to the public concern that implants were responsible for women’s health issues including cancer, immunological diseases and rheumatoid arthritis. When manufacturer Dow Corning was unable to prove that the implants were completely safe, they were bankrupted by over $3 billion in lawsuits.

Silicone implants had, to that point, been favored over saline implants because they felt softer (saline implants were known to be unnaturally hard) and were less likely to spontaneously deflate.

Fourteen years of research revealed no link between implants and the serious health issues cited.

The FDA therefore decided to leave the decision to the discretion of women and their surgeons. But recovering the reputation of silicone (or gel) implants is an uphill battle, and critics still question why the FDA would rush re-approval when longer-term testing might expose risks. A month after the ban was lifted, an Austrian study rekindled the old concerns.

“Fourteen years isn’t much of a rush,” counters Dr. Paul Petty, consultant to Mayo Clinic’s department of plastic surgery. “There have been a number of very large studies conducted by epidemiologists—not plastic surgeons—looking for any kind of correlation between implants and significant disease entities, and none has ever been found. And there were many hundreds of thousands of ‘patient years’ to look at during the time that those evaluations were being done.”

Lifting the ban hasn’t made things easier on anyone.

Consumer advocates may suspect that the ban was lifted to benefit implant manufacturers and/or a lobby of plastic surgeons. But the lift comes accompanied by FDA restrictions that hogtie manufacturers, doctors and even patients.

Exasperated by the restrictions, Petty says, “It’s a way for the government to say yes and no at the same time, and the way they’re saying yes is so onerous that most [plastic surgeons] don’t want to put the implants in anyway. All of the patients who are getting implants are still on a 10-year FDA study with obtuse requirements, and there are many strings attached for the doctors and the manufacturer.”

The two biggest corporations dedicated to keeping breasts plump and faces firm are Allergan (the Botox people) and Mentor. Both make silicone and saline implants.

No implants are without risks or possible complications.

Among the most common is capsular contracture, the uncomfortable tightening that results from scar tissue build-up around an implant.

Another is when small amounts of silicone gel leak from a ruptured implant or bleed through its porous lining.

“A mammogram can easily identify a little piece of free gel with scar tissue around it,” says Petty, describing what is known as a siliconoma. The name is frightening, but Petty explains that they are innocuous.

“Siliconomas form a palpable lump, but there’s not a health risk associated with them. If they’re not in an obvious location [i.e., visible on the breast surface], you can just leave them alone.”

Connective tissue diseases (CTD’s) were among the biggest concerns leading to the ban, since many women with silicone implants were found to have CTD. It’s been found, however, that CTD is as common in women without implants, and the connection was never proven or disproven. The FDA has developed a document outlining potential complications.

Cosmetic silicone implants are approved for women aged 22 and older.

The minimum age for saline, in contrast, is 18. Why the difference? The FDA’s age specification is a bit random but one justification is that, in their words, “A young woman may not be mature enough to make an informed decision about the potential risks.”

What’s more, the 22-year-old may be more likely to follow the FDA’s recommendation for bi-annual MRI exams to test for leakage—though she’d have to be a wealthy twenty-something to afford the procedure, which costs thousands of dollars and is rarely covered by insurance. Another thought is that a more mature woman may stand a better chance of understanding the voluminous documents she’ll be asked to read in advance of surgery.

(Note: There is no minimum age for breast reconstruction based on damaged tissue, as for cancer patients or young women with breast abnormalities.)

Implants don’t last forever.

Petty tells patients with silicone implants that they stand a 20 percent chance of needing a second surgery within 10 years to correct capsular contracture. Patients with saline implants run the same odds of a second surgery within 10 years due to either capsular contracture or rupture. And, Petty says, there’s a 100 percent chance that the “fancy water balloon” will need to be removed or replaced within 30 years. One way or another, nature will eventually have its way.

C-Section Delivery

A caesarean section can literally be a lifesaver for mother and child. But as the number of caesarean-born babies increases sharply, so does the need to be informed.

Successful C-sections have become commonplace but they are still major surgery.

The impact and risks associated with caesarean surgery should not be underestimated. There is a possibility of injuring the bladder or intestine. Compared to vaginal deliveries there is greater chance of blood loss and of infection.

Whether you’re considering an elective C-section or want to understand emergency procedures, do not give consent before you are entirely well informed.

In 2004, C-section deliveries accounted for 29.1 percent of all births in the U.S.

The number of caesareans has increased by 40 percent since 1996. Primary factors: lawsuits brought by patients, which influence many obstetricians to practice medicine defensively; a sharp rise in demand by patients who fear labor pain; and the refusal of many hospitals to allow vaginal births if a mother has delivered by C-section before.

A mother who has delivered by C-section may still be able to deliver her next baby vaginally.

There is great controversy in the OB-GYN community regarding vaginal birth after caesarean, or VBAC. Since 1996, the VBAC rate has dropped by 67 percent.

Hundreds of hospitals and obstetricians forbid VBACs altogether, citing the risk of a uterine tears—and the malpractice suits that follow. They also oppose having emergency surgical teams on standby for when VBAC attempts fail.

Advocates of VBAC argue there are too many known and unknown risks in repeated C-sections. Each successive caesarean delivery is more complicated because there is scar tissue on the uterus from the prior procedure. Also, the placenta is more likely to grow abnormally after multiple caesareans, which can lead to haemorrhage and other serious complications.

Expectant mothers should understand what constitutes a caesarean as “medical necessity.”

An emergency C-section may be necessary if there is fatal distress, if labour has stopped progressing, or if the mother’s well-being is threatened.

In some cases a C-section is scheduled in advance because it’s clear that vaginal delivery would not be safe. The fetus may be positioned poorly or may be too big, or the mother may be at high risk of a uterine tear due to a prior C-section.

In a successful C-section with a healthy patient, recovery can be rapid.

Most women are walking within 12 hours of surgery and can take liquid and food the same day. Usually after three days, new mothers can be sent home with pain medication such as Vicodin or Tylenol with codeine. Discomfort from the abdominal incision tends to be more severe and longer lasting than experienced by women with healthy vaginal delivery. Nonetheless, moms in each group are frequently back to normal within six to eight weeks.

Sex during pregnancy: An unnecessary taboo?

Sex during pregnancy — If your doctor agrees, follow your sex drive where it leads.

If you want to get pregnant, you have sex. No surprises there. But what about sex while you're pregnant? The answers aren't always as clear. Here's what you need to know about sex during pregnancy.

Is it OK to have sex during pregnancy?

As long as your pregnancy is proceeding normally, you can have sex as often as you like. But you may not always want to. At first, hormonal fluctuations, fatigue and nausea may sap your sexual desire. During the second trimester, increased blood flow to your sexual organs and breasts may rekindle your desire for sex. But by the third trimester, weight gain, back pain and other symptoms may once again dampen your enthusiasm for sex.

Can sex cause a miscarriage?

Many couples worry that sex during pregnancy will cause a miscarriage, especially in the first trimester. But sex isn't a concern. Early miscarriages are usually related to chromosomal abnormalities or other problems in the developing baby — not to anything you do or don't do.
Does sex harm the baby?

The baby is protected by the amniotic fluid in your uterus, as well as the mucous plug that blocks the cervix throughout most of your pregnancy. Your partner's penis won't touch the baby.

Are any sexual positions off-limits during pregnancy?

As your pregnancy progresses, experiment to find the most comfortable positions. There's just one caveat. Avoid lying flat on your back during sex. If your uterus compresses the veins in the back of your abdomen, you may feel light-headed or nauseous.

What about oral sex?

If you have oral sex, make sure your partner does not blow air into your vagina. Rarely, a burst of air may block a blood vessel (air embolism) — which could be a life-threatening condition for you and the baby.

Can orgasms trigger premature labour?

Orgasms can cause uterine contractions. But these contractions are different from the contractions you'll feel during labour. Research indicates that if you have a normal pregnancy, orgasms — with or without intercourse — don't lead to premature labour or premature birth.

Are there times when sex should be avoided?

Although most women can safely have sex throughout pregnancy, sometimes it's best to be cautious.

Preterm labour. Exposure to the prostaglandins in semen may cause contractions — which could be worrisome if you're at risk of preterm labour.

Vaginal bleeding. Sex is not recommended if you have unexplained vaginal bleeding.
Problems with the cervix. If your cervix begins to open prematurely (cervical incompetence), sex may pose a risk of infection.

Problems with the placenta. If your placenta partly or completely covers your cervical opening (placenta previa), sex could lead to bleeding and preterm labour.

Multiple babies. If you're carrying two or more babies, your doctor may advise you not to have sex late in pregnancy — although researchers have not identified any relationship between sex and preterm labour in twins.

Should my partner use a condom?

Exposure to sexually transmitted diseases during pregnancy increases the risk of infections that can affect your pregnancy and your baby's health. If you have a new sexual partner during pregnancy, use a condom when you have sex.

What if I don't want to have sex?

That's OK. There's more to a sexual relationship than intercourse. Share your needs and concerns with your partner in an open and loving way. If sex is difficult, unappealing or off-limits, try cuddling, kissing or massage.

After the baby is born, how soon can I have sex?

Whether you give birth vaginally or by C-section, your body will need time to heal. Many doctors recommend waiting six weeks before resuming intercourse. This allows time for your cervix to close and any tears or a repaired episiotomy to heal.If you're too sore or exhausted to even think about sex, maintain intimacy in other ways. Share short phone calls throughout the day or occasional soaks in the tub. When you're ready to have sex, take it slow — and use a reliable method of contraception.